“It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some very imperfect people.” ~Hebrews 10: 14, The Message
Doesn’t that just sum it all up? I’m one who wants to be perfect – I hate being a work in progress…I want to learn it, and move on. But, until I’m with Jesus face to face, the deepest desire of my heart will not be fulfilled, as I will never be perfect on this earth. I am forgiven and perfect in God’s sight because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, but I still struggle with sin. I get discouraged so often because each day God teaches me something else where I feel like I’m failing – I know, in my head, that I just need to improve, but in my heart, I struggle with the question, “Why don’t I just do it right?”
Thank goodness for grace. My salvation is not based upon what I do, my works, but on what Christ did for me on the cross. If I love him, I’ll obey him. I do love him, but why don’t I obey him all the time?
I see a bit of myself in one of my three year old twins, Marcus. He’s a rule follower and hardly ever strays from the straight and narrow. We both go into situations enthusiastically – especially if we know the rules, because we are good rule followers. I always say, “If you give me the rules or tell me how to do it, I’ll do it right.” That’s why this Christianity thing is so hard for me at times – I don’t always get it right and there are times or seasons where I feel like I’m always getting it wrong. Take, for example, I have two three year olds in my house right now. That’s enough to make any mom “get it wrong” A LOT. If you haven’t been around young kids, now I have three, I believe it’s not the “terrible twos” so much as the “trying threes” (trying for the mom, that is). My oldest’s first eight months of being three were like someone had taken my sweet boy and replaced him with a baby monster. But at that eight month mark, a miracle happened, and my boy returned. I’m not facing quite the same with the twins, but the tantrums, the lack of being able to understand reason (times two)…it’s wearing on me, and I seem to get it wrong at least once a day. My temper rises, my voice yells – it’s almost like an out of body experience at times, where I am watching myself yell…But that’s why there’s grace. Jesus died on the cross, knowing I’d have twin boys and knowing they’d both be three at the same time. He didn’t do it so much to play a joke on me (although we laughed for five weeks straight when we knew we were having twins), but more to teach me lessons throughout their lives, and I think I’ll learn a lot of lessons this year of being three.